These were some deep thoughts. So different from the thoughts I am surrounded with, daily. Like a different world. But it’s not — it’s not totally spaced out — it has to do with the very world I live in. They just think about different aspects of it. Owning the land. I would have never found it ridiculous to call my garden “my garden”. Is it? Am I really just pretending that it’s my garden? Well, it’s just my personal point of view… The robin shouting from the fence, marking his territory, would say it’s his garden…  So my point of view is comparable to that of the robin’s? Our earth is billions of years old. And somewhen little me signed a crappy little slip of paper. And now I think that I with my flimsy little lifetime own it and can do with it as I please. Is that hubris? Of course, as long as we don’t think it through that way, we feel as if we have the right — ignoring, that the daisies and slugs we try to kill never had the possibilities to sign any contract. Hm. Again, that’s how it’s being presented to us. That’s how the real estate agents present it to us — we buy it and then we can do with it whatever we like. Like we’re king. Weird. 

 

Responsibility. My personal topic, definitely. Responsibility. I need to change what I stand for and accept that my actions have consequences. I can’t always hide behind the company saying if I quit, they’ll just hire someone else. And even if they will. Still. I can do more that what I’ve been doing so far. And I can tell them I don’t want to be part of this anymore. Maybe that will get them thinking as well. Maybe, who knows. I’m no better than them. I just got out today. See different things, hear different thoughts. Responsibility, yep. Actually, responsibility — that concerns the land as well! So people see themselves not as unimportant little blinks in the eye of time, but as land owners. Still, why do we have to behave like kings? More so, like bad kings. Like the monarchs no one wants to have. What do we expect of a good monarch? Responsible rule, not an egocentric one. Not ‚I want a new drive way, so I’ll kill all subjects who happen to be in my way‘. Responsibility. We could be more responsible. We could see the piece of land around our house as the piece of land for which we accepted responsibility. So we bought it or rented it, playing the human game. And now we have responsibility for it. Because there are many beings living there as well, who have no clue about our game. Well, there are many beings living there as well, unless we kill them. For whatever reason actually. We don’t only behave like kings, but like dictators. A single individual only pushing their own personal programme through — if the other beings affected by this were humans, it would be called dictatorship. Since the other beings affected are insects and mice it’s just left up to everyone’s private decision how we treat them. If we poison the indigenous inhabitants whose ancestors were there long before us, and claim all their land for ourselves, or if we let them be. 

 

Pheewwwww, exhausting. Need to relax now. Now relax. What are Kim and Samira doing? They have paper in their hands, hold it up high. Holy scriptures, free from religion. The pure love of earth. Proclaiming in rhythmical unison. Voices dissolving in birdsong. If I’m silent…? Can I hear?

  “…night jar eyes like the moon…”   

They drop the sunny sheets, encouraging glances, breathing, lift their silver instruments to their lips, among the trees, the birds, this spring. Adult and child, Orient and Occident, humans and nature — all that is at odds elsewhere. Gentle friendship, alleviating sadness. Healing. Kim, you have opened up my dissatisfied life with your harmonising influence, you miraculously perfect creature. Thank you for my smile. For butterflies, almond froth and mint lemonade. For letting me breath peaceful music. Strength. I will take the teachings of this day with me into my future.